I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
A bitchslap is in order.
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