hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I need a beard to bite.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
