I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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