You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
