; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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