Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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