we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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