Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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