Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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