He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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