ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I smell stomach acid.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
