All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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