hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
