Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I want to be your penis for a week.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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