I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
