Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
