Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
