whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
