He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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