Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
