You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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