She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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