He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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