they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
