Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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