This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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