you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
