you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
