Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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