she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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