Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
