Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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