I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
