i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize