I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
