Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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