How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
