I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
