I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
