just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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