I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
