i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
