True but thats because hes a fetus.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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