YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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