HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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