Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
