hell yes lets make some ravioli
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize