babies were throwing up all over the place
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
