Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So vagazzling was a success
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
