so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
