And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
