good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
