I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she pinky promised me she was 18
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
