I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
