I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
