Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
