His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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