Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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