CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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