Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
