plz talk dirty to me
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize