just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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