My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
