I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
