i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
