Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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