I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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