So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
