My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
