I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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