I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
